Welcome to the first documented experiment in our decade-long series of experimentation. This is an exercise in staying awake against myriad sleep-inducing substances. The goal of our work tonight is not to defeat the pills or merely measure the subject’s response; it is, of course, our most recent attempt to lengthen and intensify the wondrous period of magical almostsleep.
Almostsleep, as you have surely read in our earlier studies, is not just the state of being almost asleep. There are flashes of almostsleep when drowsing, of course, but the apparent extension of digits and simultaneous numbing and sparking of limbs are rare in such mundance cases and display themselves fleetingly, if at all. The most obvious element the two states have in common is the subject’s need to continually flex the ankles. The desire to chew on one’s fingers is often exhibited by children who are almost asleep, but is less common in adults — biting at the flesh between the knuckles is, however, one of the earliest signs of the almostsleep state in subjects of all ages. Perhaps the attraction inherent in almostsleep is connected to this “return to childhood”?
Near-complete concentration is another of the desirable effects found in almostsleep. One of the most interesting factors is the subject’s sensation of “clumsiness” but ability to perform complex tasks without error due to the increased concentration and exceptionally high level of focus. This productivity is, though, short lived as almostsleep leads — as the name suggests — to actual sleep with relative speed. Thus, it is this research team’s intention to prolong the state of almostsleep and delay the onset of late-stage symptoms, such as increasingly poor coordination and severely depleted vocabulary. Extending the creative, productive and happy — yes, happy! — state would have far-reaching benefits for not only the subjects of our experiments but the entire population of the universe.
Imagine a world where all tasks were performed with unfailing precision and each being was able to function at the highest level of intelligence of which its body was capable. Our planet would be awash with new works of incredible art and the needless concerns with which we wrack our already limited nervous systems would be relegated to myth, freeing us to proceed unhindered by doubt. Almostsleep could even replace traditional sleep, allowing humans to actively use every hour in the day, unfettered by the need to sleep before returning to work.
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