chris t-t, january 23, the derby (which is apparently still open, even though I went to their closing party)

dead meadow, february 5th, echoplex

black mountain, february 5th, the troubadour

super furry animals, february 8th, echoplex

chris t-t, february 15, safari sam’s

chris t-t, feburary 16, viper room

miranda lee richards, february 16, three of clubs

chris t-t, february 25, bordello

blitzen trapper, march 13, somewhere in austin

gogol bordello, march 17th, somewhere in austin because somehow every time they come to los angeles I can never, ever see them

My compassion to unknown Googlers knows few bounds. If you’re one of the many people who has arrived at Countessian vainly seeking content that I’ve as yet not supplied, perhaps I can enlighten you in one of my informative “Search Terms are Fun!” posts.

First, Naughty Bodies Be Good Volumes One & Two are renegade work-out videos. Your best bet to see clips is YouTube. Enjoy. They star Sally Fay Dalton, an actress, DJ and intelligence agent who sometimes goes incognito as Hot Tub Champagne, and often models for me, intentionally or not (see below, in red). Her website can be viewed at SallyFayDalton.com.

Another oft-photographed beauty is Dita Dimoné, a documentarian (documentarienne?) and Echo Park star of note. (See above, in not much.)

About hot ninja girls I’m not at liberty to say very much, I’m afraid, in the interest of neighbourhood security. I will tell you that they’re commonly known to Utatans as The Pastel Ninjas. Sally Fay is a founding member. Their leader may or may not be an exiled factory-worker’s daughter.

I’m afraid I have no information on Dimples the stripper — San Diego. You’re on your own with that one. Also, to whomever Googled “I’m having a crew cut” — good for you.

I’ll have a think about “getting tired of an affair” — if, dear reader, you have any advice for the poor soul who felt the need to type that into Google and hit “I’m feeling lucky”, please write.

Sea of Cortez played a packed little show at the Silver Lake Lounge on a sort of cold and almost frosty night last week.

They have enthusiastic fans prone to cheerful yelling (amusing), friendliness to newcomers (endearing) and, in the case of one youngish lady, smacking girls with cameras almost into the drum kit while stomping towards the bathroom (tiresome. The fact that I didn’t smack her back, dear reader, should indicate my tireless dedication to photographing poorly lit drummers.)

Abe Vigoda are in favour of talking quite a lot between songs. One of them resembles 12-year-old version of my coworker’s husband. That’s all.

Moonrats (who I first saw at the Naughty Bodies Volume One northern premiere) are fun to photograph.

I particularly enjoyed (you have to forgive me; I gloat so rarely) sneaking looks through the back of the large and expensively accessorised camera being used by a fellow picture taker and seeing that my photographs were better than his.

Mine aren’t fantastic, or anything, but at least my camera fits in my handbag so if I’m doing too badly I can just subtly sneak off.

The new lights at the Echo are nice.

God, I got bad at writing.

An old picture of Jesca Hoop in her lovely hat, from the Dewar’s repeal day party. (I got so overwhelmed editing all those pictures of naked ladies that night that I never quite made it to the singing ladies.)

Miss Dita Dimone (passport-shop star of Echo Park) came over and posed with her beat-up green heels on her vampire-bitten tootsies. Then Jennie Warren came over and taught me how to use the heal tool in Photoshop.

Oh!

It basically takes a good bit of a picture and pastes it over a bad bit, but throws in a bucketload of fairy dust to make the correction invisible.

Kids, this is important stuff. I mean, why did I not know about this sooner? The allegedly super-fantastic photo-correction class I took in j-school did not include include the heal tool. Can I get a refund on my student loan repayments? The interest, at least?

Anyway, I was gleefully fixing [right!] and defixing [above!] and refixing [right!] scuffs and fang marks for an hour. Hooray!

Please expect everyone to look perfect and plastic in my pictures from now on. If only I could apply it in real life (that and the “UNDO” button.) Oh wait, that’s what plastic surgery’s for… I forgot. Can you tell that I’m not from round here?

LAist (to which I am addicted) used above picture.

Matador (to whose bands I’ve been listening for a zillion years) used the below picture.

Gmail have changed the name of the “trash” to the “bin” for people who have their account set to “English (UK)”, which feels amusingly incrogruous as the SoCal sun streams in my flimsy window, which is rattling half out the frame from the helicopter hovering overhead.

Hmm, Dead Meadow are playing the Echoplex on February 5th. February is a good month for bands in LA. Black Mountain, Super Furry Animals… sometimes I like Los Angeles.

1) Burt’s Bees honey lip balm
2) “The Secret History” by Donna Tartt
3) Elf
4) Black Mountain
5) French pedicure
6) Queen Helene mint clay mask
7) Ivan Krestyanski-Sin i Chyudo-Yudo
8) Oso
9) Running for one hour
10) Pale green Japanese tea set from Mara

…With a lot of smoke. I’m serious. It’s hard to see your hand, let alone the band.

When I saw them at The Garage back when I was still a little Londoner, I don’t remember it being that dark at all. Nostalgia turns the lights up brighter, perhaps?

…by everyone’s preferred film-making genius, Mike Bruce, who was last seen leaving Eliza Fay Baby Girl wearing a red feather boa. The Naughty Bodies and Legend of God’s Gun clips are my favourites.

Oh, and the porn, I mean, zombie pirate horror movie. Can’t believe Mike didn’t include any of Ron Jeremy’s scenes. (Kids, I’m not kidding. Did I ever tell you about the time Ron Jeremy averted his gaze so that Sally Fay could change out of her blood-soaked clothes like a lady?)