countessian

Day jobs are easier with brand new computers and the ability to take “look at me! I’m fourteen again!” self portraits with “comic book” effects.

My last three posts have sucked. Sorry. Jokes that my mum forwarded me + funny stories from the internet + webcam self portraits = someone who shouldn’t be allowed web space. I’m about 13 years too old for any of the above. Oh dear.

Shooting Beirut, Devon Williams and The Brunettes for Prefix at the Wiltern — reputed to be the nation’s absolute worst venue in which to shoot bands — tonight. Intriguing.

Then at the weekend I’m going to sell merch at the House of Blues in Anaheim.

Yeah, it’s a weird week.

(PS — my desktop wallpaper is my picture of the Citibank building on Sunset in Echo Park. You know the one.)

Time For Some Stories by Dave Secretary

(There are a lot more of these. You should read them if you want to laugh aloud.)

THIS IS SHORT BUT WORTH NOTING FOR MY OWN SAKE

THE LITTLE LIBRARY IN MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL (AYLMER ELEMENTARY) WAS LOCATED IN THE EAST WING, WHICH WAS THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE SCHOOL AT THE TIME. (IT WAS A SMALL SCHOOL, AND A VERY SMALL LIBRARY). MOST OF US LIKED TO GO TO THE LIBRARY. NOT BECAUSE OF THE BOOKS, THOUGH, BUT BECAUSE THERE WAS THIS GIANT STUFFED GREAT HORNED OWL SET ATOP ONE OF THE HIGHER BOOKSHELVES IN THE BACK. THE OWL HAD ITS WINGS SLIGHTLY OUTSTRETCHED AND IT WAS JUST COLOSSAL. IT WAS PRACTICALLY MY SIZE.

ANYWAY THE OWL GAVE OFF A VERY MUSTY, WOODSY SORT OF ODOR THAT MADE THE LIBRARY SMELL LIKE AN OLD MUSEUM, OR AN ABANDONED COTTAGE AND THAT JUST MADE THE LIBRARY EVEN COOLER.

ANYWAY ONE OF OUR LITTLE RITUALS WHILE WALKING TO THE LIBRARY WENT AS FOLLOWS: FIRST THERE WAS A LITTLE STEP DOWN WHEN YOU WENT INTO THE EAST WING – IT WAS CUSTOMARY FOR STUDENTS TO JUMP WHEN WE APPROACHED THE STEP, TOUCH THE CEILING TILE ABOVE OUR HEADS (ONE OF THOSE LARGE SQUARE CEILING TILES MADE OUT OF THIN DRY-WALL) AND THEN FALL THE EXTRA 6 INCHES INTO THE EAST WING. SINCE WE ALWAYS HAD TO WALK IN A LINE IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL EVERY KID BASICALLY GOT A CHANCE TO JUMP AT THE STEP, AND WE WOULD OFTEN TEASE ANYONE WHO FAILED TO TOUCH THE CEILING TILE. I THINK IT WAS ALMOST CONSIDERED BAD LUCK OR SOMETHING.

ANYWAY THE SECOND STEP TO THIS ROUTINE WAS THAT ONCE YOU WERE IN THE LIBRARY YOU HAD TO GO TO THE BACK, JUMP UP AND TOUCH ONE OF THE WINGS ON THE GREAT HORNED OWL. ONCE YOU HAD TOUCHED BOTH THE CEILING TILE IN THE EAST WING…

[Seriously. You need to read these things.]

A: A small lie.

Fun. Energetic. Bouncy. For Prefix.

It was so packed I couldn’t find John, who wrote it up for Prefix. I used to write about shows when I was a little’un, but I realised I’m rubbish at it (hence “Fun. Energetic. Bouncy.”) That’s why you should read John’s review instead.

I hate my noisy pictures, so I’m playing around with Noise Ninja to celebrate Memorial Day. I just started, so please send advice.

Hollywood recently got loose in Los Feliz. His owner had to wander the neighbourhood yelling “Hollywood!”, to which bemused locals yelled back “Los Feliz!”

Dizzee Rascal makes me homesick.

(Shot for Prefix.)

The Echoplex video effect thing is fun to shoot.

(For Prefix.)

Fun. Dark! But fun.

Dark Meat members wandering around pre performance are easy to pick out even before they put their war paint on. Maybe I’ve been living in Los Angeles too long… (Who hasn’t?)

Their big green bus parked outside made me want to stow away and split, once and for all.

But then I remembered that living here means I get to see relative locals Restaurant and Crystal Antlers all the time, which cheered me up.

Also, bands playing below a giant owl (by Brian Buchanan) make life good. More on that when Babygirl and I get The Owlies off the ground.

(For Prefix.)

(Shot for Prefix.)

Dour and lovely and in stockinged feet. Very foreign in this shiny land of eternal sunshine. Quite to my taste.